We See the World Very Differently From Some

Maybe we want the same things but the way we go about getting them is worlds apart. A typical reaction is to assume there is nothing I can do. That is a misunderstanding of the many internal possibilities to create your reality. Your imagination, thoughts, and emotions are creative expressions of who you are. Your inner world is vast, immeasurably powerful, creative, and manageable with a few basic tools.

We Have Protectors

From the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS, also known as parts-work), the most obvious power dynamic shows up in your system when a part of you feels, believes, thinks and reacts one way, while another part feels, believes, thinks and reacts the opposite way. The two parts are polarized. We all have polarized parts that do their very best to protect us. They’re called protectors. Recognizing polarizations and naming the two different parts allows us to step back into Self and identify with our larger, more holistic consciousness rather than flipping back and forth between the two poles. You become the witness and can observe these parts with curiosity and calmness.

Our Real Life Scenario

Eddie has a part that freaks out when faced with a tech issue. It has been the source of extreme angst and frustration. He also achieves great satisfaction from using technology to promote our business through YouTube videos and social media. Last week, while attempting to identify what was not working with an amplifier, Eddie felt as though his logical mind suddenly went offline, and his breathing became short and shallow. When I touched his arm, I could feel his sweat. A part of him was in full panic, shut-down mode. Fast forward to this week, when he was a little high (the best kind) on cannabis (THCa; its legal in NC). He was fiddling with the TV and the same sort of glitch resurfaced. I watched him as he approached the problem, then resolved it with a calm, curious attitude. I was intrigued by these two parts of him.

Checking in With Parts

I asked him if he would be willing to take a minute to check in with this part that was not freaking out and obviously holds a viewpoint opposite of the other part from a day ago. He agreed. I invited him to get in touch with the feeling of this calm, curious, competent part and when he said he was settled in that part, I asked him to invite the other part, the one who went blank and started to sweat. When both parts were in his field of awareness, I asked him to envision a triangle where he was at the top observing both parts, with a friendly interest. I asked him to let both parts know he was there as a Self (a witness). He imagined all three waving to each other. That was it. The act of witnessing without judgment is validating. We all want to be seen, heard, and respected.

Did the Cannabis Help?

When our parts feel acknowledged, they relax enough to allow our internal system to run a bit more smoothly. Our parts get updated to the present moment. They loosen their extreme protective roles. Did the cannabis give Eddie access to his less fearful part? In a safe environment with just a bit of enhancement, protectors seem to give space for self-discovery techniques, which potentially support the therapeutic experience. Now, Eddie can return to those two polarized parts to check in with them and let them know he is here, surviving and sometimes thriving with new capacities he didn’t have previously. This is a simple practice that requires only a small effort but is well worth it because it works very well.

Reclaim Your Power

In a world that often feels harsh and isolating, these compassionate practices help us come back home to ourselves, where we reclaim our heart-centered power. If you’ve been longing for a more nourishing, authentic connection with yourself, reach out to Margaret at the link below.