Calling Time Out

Are you in a situation where your time, energy and focus are frequently directed toward others? Are you in the role of caretaker, either personally or professionally? Often the last thing that crosses our mind in that scenario is making sure we are staying healthy, balanced and sane. In fact, it is not uncommon to subscribe to the notion that self-care is selfish. Let’s put that idea to sleep.

Putting Our Health at Risk 

The harsh reality is that constantly depleting ourselves lessens our presence of mind, patience and energy to face the unpredictability of each day, and our health is at risk. When any of us are feeling overwhelmed, lonely, frequently angry and irritable or guilty, and/or crying a lot, the likelihood of burnout is heightened. Maintaining a rigid identification with duty and responsibility for others, while ignoring our own needs, is a major risk factor for chronic illness. Studies have shown that failing to attend to personal needs while under stress cripples our immune system. Self-care is not at all selfish. It is, in fact, paramount.

What Can Be Done? Here Are Some Options:

Skillfully access resources at your disposal:

• Take a break – sometimes we just have to step away, however that is humanly possible. Be kind to yourself.
• Ask for help from friends, family, clergy, therapists, spiritual teachers, etc.
• Express how we feel – holding feelings in is hazardous to our wellness.
• Make a list of activities that nourish you, and build one or more of these into your days – reading, journaling, taking walks or gardening outside, calling a supportive friend, taking time for a hot bath or nap.

Being Mindful in the Storm

Another tool I have found extremely useful is mindfulness practice – learning to repeatedly bring attention to current experience, moment-to-moment in a curious, non-judgmental way. We can easily find ourselves in an “automatic pilot” mode, traveling through our days without really paying attention to much of anything. Unaware of the present moment, we are literally absent from our own life. 

Reaching Into the Toolbox

Mindfulness-based programs and practices like meditation and yoga are potent antidotes for stress, and also powerful tools for knowing what is needed as we compassionately notice thoughts, feelings and body sensations and see how they connect to how we are responding to what goes on around us. Rather than being lost in painful past memories or anxiety about the future, there is so much greater value in noticing what is happening right now, and being able to do what is best needed in the moment.

I Invite You to Call Time Out!