What Exactly is “Mindfulness”, Anyways?

A short definition of mindfulness is a kind, inquiring attitude toward the experiences that arise and pass our daily lives. A brief description of non-mindfulness is obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior, which we continue to repeat despite adverse consequences.

The Great Escape

If I do not like how I feel and have not practiced mindfulness, I might perseverate on the uncomfortable thoughts and sensations and feel compelled to fix them fast. No one wants to be uncomfortable, but we all experience the discomfort, in many variations, daily. If we’re going to be free from compulsive behavior and harmful reactions, it is wise to practice being uncomfortable, instead of suppressing the energy. The quality of feeling unsatisfied is part of the human condition. The goal is not to rid yourself of complex feelings. The plan is to be more self-aware, notice the feelings but choose your next step. If “unsatisfactoriness” is going to be showing up regularly, you might as well learn how to be okay with making room for it. Surprisingly, that may just fix the feeling.

Being Okay with Being Uncomfortable

Meditation helps us develop the capacity to be with something difficult in nonjudgmental ways. There is a term for that; it is called “distress tolerance”. We can gradually build our ability to be okay with being uncomfortable.

Just Do It

The only way to embody mindfulness is to practice it. Thinking, reading, or talking about mindfulness will not cut it. We need to participate in the practice, and that can often bring up uncomfortable twinges in the knees, shoulders, and neck as we attempt to sit still. It can initiate intrusive worries about what tomorrow may bring or painful regrets about the past, and yet, it often brings up the truth that we are whole and good enough, just as we are. In the mixed bag of possible meditation experiences, consistent practice teaches us great lessons about impermanence. Discomfort may arise, but it also recedes if we greet it with curiosity.

Freedom to Be

Rather than escaping from discomfort or attempting in vain to fix it, meditation teaches us how to “be with” the full range of human experience and discover the freedom to choose how to respond. Owning your reality, naming your feelings and getting some insight into why they show up are critical first steps to getting unstuck and living into who you know yourself to be.

You Can Mindfully Emerge

Having a mentor to get started and guide you across the gnarly parts on the path to becoming fully who you know yourself to be is truly beneficial. Perhaps we can help?